A fresh start isn’t a place – its a mindset.
I’m not sure if it’s the midlife crisis or God sent thunder bolts; but over the last two years, I’ve found myself turn into a rebel of sorts 😊 …and I’m loving every part of it. Perks of growing up I must say!
There is an INNATE NEED TO BE REAL
UNAPOLOGETICALLY | UNFLINCHINGLY | UNABASHEDLY
This need could have stemmed from the corporate REEL LIFE I was leading; which was getting to be an annoying contrast from my REAL LIFE. I was meeting plethora of people who had normal people eyes – real eyes – real emotions – which mirrored their real soul but their actions and thoughts were haywire and disoriented – much like kooky white walkers following a nitwitted tribe – with no spine – having sold their souls for the sheer need to fit in – to get the ‘blessed’ monthly cheque. Yes, one can argue that you cannot just wake up and try to attain nirvana like the sages and emperors of the past but dude one has to sleep at night and hopefully die free and happy.
We’ll get into the WHY of this mindset and the aligned play of our roots and value system over a cup of coffee some other time. This article is about why I needed a fresh start so here…
So yes, coming back to my line of thought, you are paid to be a robot. Yes you love the underlying genre of the job but no you hadn’t signed up for the fake smiles, the small talk, the never ending networking, the unnecessary meetings, dubious motives, aggravating jealousy, constant competition, need to do better and more everyday …. I can go on and on about the different shades of corporate life. By no means am I saying that I didn’t have my share of fun or learning but I was pitying the stress people were taking playing jump rope with two sides of their lives. I was one of them.
Imagine this, clubbed with a picture of an hour glass with the sand passing through an accelerated pace or a palm trying to hold in the sand desperately, all referring to time passing with an uncontrollable gait, leaving me with jolted wake-up hysteria combined with pounding heart rates every single day; at weird times < I’m trying to make this as dramatic as possible but believe me it’s a ‘real scene’ in my head being played a million times 😊 > ….Questions like you are 37, were you born to be a corporate slave, is your job just performing duties for family, peers, friends, if I was to die this second what legacy was I leaving behind, did I use my talent (if any) to the full extent, did I feed my soul, most importantly
DID I TRY? TRY TO BE REAL? TRY TO BE ME?
UNAPOLOGETICALLY | UNFLINCHINGLY | UNABASHEDLY
Do something Swati. Do it fast. Do it now.
So there – I spent two years understanding what came naturally to me. What did I really want to do? What was I good at? If someone was to remember me for something, what would it be? If someone woke me up in the middle of the night to get something done, what would that be? How am I making a difference to another soul who has come in contact with me? What do I do with my free time? What empties me and fills me at the same time? There were the answers…
I want to grow PERSONALLY. I want to INSPIRE people. I want to be in touch with mindblowing ART & CREATIVITY. I want to LEARN something new EVERYDAY. I want real – passionate – phone free CONVERSATIONS. I want to TRAVEL & give myself to nature. I want speed – thrill – craziness. I want to feed MY SOUL. I want to be REAL. So when I die – I smile for having led a life with no regrets. For having led a real life passionately.
And all this, was in my hands. Nobody else can help me but me. And if I’m happy – people around me are happy.
You cant pour from any empty cup they say. Its true – but nobody else can fill it and sip it and enjoy it like me.
And its not a place, it not a thing, its as simple as a mindset.
So I’m gonna trash the fear, trash the judgemental voice inside me, trash the judgemental voice around me and just go for it.
For the last ten years, people have been telling me to do this but I let it slide – sheer laziness. No more.
I spend eight hours or more in office pitying people who want to be real and cannot – the next eight have to be blatantly real. I know its going to me messy. My work will be scrutinized, judged, scoffed, laughed at, admired – I’m going to be learning every day – I’m going to fall and rise – I’m going to be frustrated and yet happy – I’m going to have a zillon drafts before a master piece – I may never have a master piece – like I said – It’s going to be messy but its going to be real. And yes I’m gonna sleep like a baby!
We are all trapped in a cage with its door wide open.
Its time to be free.